Wedding And Engagement Photography in Winston Salem NC

Are you emasculating your man by demanding the ring YOU want? { North Carolina Wedding Photographer , Personal Images}

I thought Koy was so selfish for buying a ring that was literally the opposite in every way of what I like…. I mean, why don’t men EVER listen?? These days most women are picking out their own rings, couples are even breaking from tradition and making the big purchase together. Are you emasculating your man by demanding the ring YOU want?

Wedding And Engagement Photography in Winston Salem NC

I am not a spoiled brat or anything, as a matter of fact I ask him to not buy gifts for me all of the time, I’m just not into it. To be honest the ring I wanted cost much less than the one he bought. It was everything I hated- yellow gold, ( I liked white ) Wide thick band ( I expressed to him I wanted a band so thin it looked invisible!! ) Multiple stones, ( I like large solitaries) and worst of all it was a diamond. After having been an avid rock collector for years of my life, and expressing to him how I would love to have a non-traditional gem he still went with diamonds.

I never told Koy that I hated the ring, because I didn’t want to hurt him, but my feelings were hurt because I felt that he didn’t even know me after years of being together. After reading the book the five love languages, my eyes were opened so much to understanding  his personality and the way that we each express love in our own way.  I wold soon discover just why he kept buying me gifts even though I keep asking him to stop. Most importantly I now understand that he bought the ring HE liked because it is how he says “I Love You” and ” Be Mine” to me. I quickly learned to love my engagement ring.u

Soon after, while we were buying wedding bands I had a chance to get the ring I wanted. The sales lady tried her best to sell me a new set. As I said goodbye to the ring I had been coveting for five years, “I’ll  keep this one, it’s very special to me.” I told her.  In the end, I choose to love the ring that he picked for me, and I can’t imagine taking that traditional rite away from him as a man. Every time I see it I am reminded to find and appreciate all of the ways that my husband says “I Love you” to me, so that I will never take him for granted.

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8 thoughts on “Are you emasculating your man by demanding the ring YOU want? { North Carolina Wedding Photographer , Personal Images}

  1. I could not have said this better myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my ring (and the pictures you took of it). However, I remember looking at it right after I got it thinking “this isn’t what I told him I wanted?!?” It wasn’t the clean channel setting but had the vintage beading detail, it had “side stones”, and way worse they were princess cut! Then we began planning our wedding and more importantly our marriage. We began discussing and discovering eachother in a new way. It was then that I realized this was the perfect ring. It has the oval center stone I have always wanted (like my moms), but it has the eccentricity that is Adam. It is not what I would have picked out for myself but or what anyone else could have picked for me. It is what HE picked for me. It’s a compromise of our personalities. It is OUR ring and I wear it proudly.

  2. Also I just left Jared’s an hour ago. I went looking for a new watch for my upcoming birthday. It’s funny because my wife bought me a watch a few years ago for Christmas and I rarely wear it. It is a dress watch and really only feasible to be worn with suits. I love the watch but I rarely have the opportunity to wear it since my office is business casual and for two weeks out of the month I can wear jeans. The watch has diamonds all over it lol.

    I kinda wish she has asked me prior to purchasing the watch because although I love it, I would have chosen something a little more casual so that I could wear the watch more frequently.

  3. I love that, my hubby bought the ring I had actually hinted at years before, but changed it to what he thought reflected us. I don’t know, the ring is something that supposed to be chosen by him in a surprise move but anymore we plan out everything down to the proposal that its all chosen out before hand anymore…

    1. Can’t help but smile while reading the post and your response. I tried to pick out the ring for my wife but everyone I picked she did not care for. In the end I decided to let her choose the ring. I admit my feelings may have been hurt just a little but then I wanted her to be happy since after all she would be wearing it.

      1. Marcus, yes! It is so great to hear a man’s perspective on this because I shyly admit, I still haven’t shared with my husband that I once did not like my ring. I think things in our culture are changing SO much!! We tend to forget that women really only started working outside of the home in the past 2-3 generations and how much it has effected our lives.What we have are lots of really independent women who work just as hard as men, and no longer need gentlemen to take care of them, they need an equal partner and therefore want the engagement to be a mutual decision instead of the traditional man swooping in with a ring and asking the father for her hand.

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